Saturday, May 24, 2008

A Double Order of...Chocolate

"...chocolate cake. My wife wants chocolate cake with chocolate icing." Tom interjected his thoughts as Jenna and I were talking about yummy and delicious birthday cake. The kind of cake you can't stop eating because it's just that good.

Jenna had just celebrated her birthday and she mentioned that her favorite cake was a rich, dark chocolate cake with white, butter cream frosting.

"God that's orgasmic; where's my piece?" I said laughing with her.

"Wait a minute. Did you say your wife asked for chocolate cake with chocolate icing? Are you sure?" Jenna questioned Tom, her hands on her hips; brow was furrowed with worry.

"Oh yeah. There's no mistaking her request. Chocolate with chocolate icing." Tom said proudly knowing exactly what his wife's cake needs are.

Jenna pressed on, "What is she missing that she needs a double order of chocolate?"

Tom only shrugged. Obvioulsy, he didn't know what we knew about women and their double order of chocolate desire.

I stood back; listening and taking copious notes in my head. There was no need for me to say anything. This conversation was headed in a new direction; laden with sexual reference. Somewhere far beyond the ingredients of rich and delicious cake batter; something much more intriguing was cooking, or I guess baking.

Jenna and I both looked at each other and then we looked at him; innocently standing there grinning. We looked at each other again, both our heads nooded in unison. We knew.

You're probably asking, "what the hell are you talking about, Neve?"

Okay here's the deal. When a woman is craving chocolate; especially a double dose like Tom's wife is, that usually means she not getting enough sex. Let me be more specific, she's not getting off enough, so she diverts that sexual energy (sublimate) into something else that she finds equally satisfying.


The fact that Tom's wife wants double, chocolate, well, both Jenna and I knew that one of us would have to pull him aside and explain of few things. For the love of God, a woman's sexual needs were at stake here.

It's important that you understand that having this conversation with someone can be well, like swimming in a vat of thick, chocolate. First of all, you don't want to make someone feel like they're not doing their job in the boudoir'; breaking the news that their partners needs aren't being met (bitter chocolate). Secondly, the conversation usually turns into a tutorial session; explaning a woman's nether region. A quick overview; a refresher course of her vaginal lips; outer and inner, her vulva and of course, her power house of sensory chocolate morsel; her clitoris. Often times this can also be troubling for someone to hear, because they may have thought everything was fine. Fine up until yep, a request for double chocolate is ordered.

In the situation with Tom, I let Jenna do the explaning on this one; she knows him better than I do. Tom seemed to take the news well. I'm really anxious to learn whether his wife's cake request is going to change once he goes home and fucks her; fucks her the way she wants it. I bet it does. After Tom is done with her, she'll surely change her cake order to something light and airy, like angel food with strawberries, or perhaps lemon chiffon; easy and simple, because she'll no longer need the double, chocolate.

What's your favorite kind of cake?

The chocolate sucker can be ordered via Etsy here.


Casey Parish said...

What's my favorite type of cake? Well to be honest I am not very picky on my cakes I love a lot of them. I will say though i am partial to my chocolate and chocolate. If it's for some kind of compensation, it would be of no surprise to me considering I am always looking to have more quantity (quality is wonderful as is).


Neve Black said...

Hi Casey,
I hope you're enjoying your weekend. Interesting that you're lover of the double chocolate. Hmmm...only you can decide if that's for reasons of over compensation, I suppose.

You have however opened my eyes to a whole new angle on this subject: Quantity versus quality; which has really nothing to do with compensation, but more to do with greed. ;-)