Friday, May 30, 2008

Russian Internet Contortionists?

What is it with Russian fitness instructors or gymnasts, the internet and men in the U.S.?

Someone I knew well was adamant about not traveling across large bodies of water; until he met a Russian woman. She was a gymnast; living in Paris, France and they met on the internet. They tickled and played with words, back and forth on their keyboards; much like I do while writing a really hot story. This man was hell-bent for election against flying over the Atlantic Ocean. He decided one day to book a one way ticket to romantic Paris (not the one in Texas) to spend a very long, sexually charged weekend with his Russian gymnast.

No. I'm not kidding.

Think about it. The contents above make for a great porn story, don't you think? It has a great romantic beginning; a spicy, hot and sexy crescendo and bathtubs filled with chilled Vodka as an ending. Hey, I'm the first to admit it, except here's the Neve caveat: I knew this guy. I knew him well and I could see the whole story playing out badly; right in front of me. It has all the usual "porn story" characteristics I like to sink my teeth into and damnit, I so wanted it too.

Too. Close. Too. Much. Discomfort. Maybe in time though....

I really wanted things to work out with his Russian gymnast too, but as I suspected the relationship had many holes in it and that relationship was going down. It sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

...and then it happened again....

I received an e-mail message yesterday from someone I know that has apparently fallen head-0ver-heals in love with a woman living in Moscow; yep, Russia. And double, yep; internet dating is how they met. This woman is a fitness instructor, which has peculiar similarities to a gymnast.

What is it with gymnasts and fitness instructors that live in Russia that are into internet dating the men I know that live in the U.S? And why do these fucking fantastic details have to happen to people I know and I can't really write about it, because I'm too close to the characters in order to embelish and weave something porn-a-riffic?

Great. Fucking. Fantastic.

In this latest Russian love connection story, he's living in my home town of California and his Russian, on-line girlfriend is asking for money; so she can make the trip across the Atlantic Ocean and live with him. Did I mention they've known each other for about a month now? Minor detail. I hope it works out. In spite of cultural differences, language barriers and potentially incorrect expectations; sometimes relationships can survive, in spite of large bodies of water standing in between them.

Does anyone know any Russian gymnast and or fitness instructors? Is it coincidental, or is this an epidemic?

1 comment:

Link3220 said...

If you were a Russian trying to convince a man to send you lots of money so you could travel to the US and fall into his arms, would you tell him you were a fitness instructor/gymnast, or a riveter/borscht taster? Hell, odds are these aren't even women writing to these guys, let alone women who can wrap their legs behind their necks.