Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Dick Hymen, Uhhh...I mean, Hyman

Okay, now I know it’s not very nice to make fun of people; it’s sort of like judging a book by its cover. But. I. Can't. Help. Myself. Just play with me for a minute, okay? Let me pose this question to you, what would you do, if your name was Dick Hyman? Do you think your name would lend itself to a specific career choice, perhaps?

Maybe? Maybe not? Huh? I lost you at the blog title?

When faced with a decision, I believe that you always have three choices: Moonshine, coal mine, or moving it on down the line (Coal Miner’s Daughter). Here are the three choices that correspond to having the name, Dick Hyman, or Richard Hymen, or Dicky Hymen....

A. Have your name legally changed.
B. Study medicine, more specifically, Gynecology.
C. Work in the porn industry; with a name like that, you're sure to be a big star.
D. Become a world renowned Jazz musician.
Hmmm...what to do, what to do... (the sound of a clock ticking).

If you chose anyone of the choices above except D, Congratulations! We’re on the same page. I can’t imagine having a name like Dick Hymen, I mean Hyman and not choosing B or C as a career; it would almost be a calling for me, wouldn’t you agree?

Well, guess what? Dick Hyman chose to study music, and he went on to become one the best Jazz pianists in the world. Hey, is it me, Freud, or both, but doesn't the word, pianists sound an awful lot like penis? Sorry, Dick....I.Can't.Help.Myself.

I’ve had a little fun here with his name, so I’m including a small biography about this very talented musician below:

In a busy musical career that began in the early 1950s, Dick Hyman has excelled as a pianist, organist, arranger, conductor, and composer. His versatility in all these areas has resulted in well over one hundred albums recorded under his own name, and many more in support of other artists. Mr. Hyman has investigated the earliest periods of jazz and ragtime and has recorded the music of Scott Joplin, Jelly Roll Morton, James P. Johnson, Eubie Blake, Fats Waller, and others. He has acted as Artistic Director of the acclaimed Jazz In July series at New York's 92nd Street Y and was inducted into the Jazz Hall Of Fame of Rutgers Institute of Jazz Studies. Dick Hyman was Music Director for Arthur Godfrey; and served as composer, arranger, conductor, and pianist for many Woody Allen films including Bullets Over Broadway and Mighty Aphrodite. Other film scores have included Moonstruck and Billy Bathgate.”

Well, I’ll be dipped up to my hymen in surprize!

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