He Likes Porn More Than Me

Let me start by saying my intentions are not to find fault or to poke fun at anyone and or their problems, God knows we all have them and I’m far from living a life without problems or challenges. If that should ever happen, I suppose I would have to check for batteries, because I would no longer be real, right? Anyway, with all that said, I find the most interesting topics to blog about, and the really funny thing is I don’t have to look very hard or very far to find a story idea. I can’t make this stuff up; I don’t have to, its life imitating my daily blog, or is it the other way around? “Hmmm….” The blog title for today is the tag line title to a website that by happenstance landed into my e-mail in box this afternoon. Is it pointless saying I wish the woman would have posed her question to me?

Anyway, this stuff is as rich as a bitter-sweet, flourless chocolate cake smothered with luscious, sweet chocolate syrup. Please read on!

QUESTION: “My husband of 15 years seems completely disinterested in being sexual with me even though I know he spends hours online looking at porn. I think he is having a virtual affair. I understand that he may need something to spice things up after all this time, but I find this intolerable. Whenever I bring up the topic, he gets angry and accuses me of spying on him. What should I do?”

ANSWER: “When we surveyed over 4,000 people for our book, "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore. Why Men Stop Having Sex and What You Can Do About It," 58 percent of the men who responded said they watched porn online, and 25 percent said that they preferred it to sex with their partners.”
The author’s answer continued, commenting on various hypothetical reasons as to why this woman’s husband isn’t interested in fucking her. The author suggested the problem could be age related; thus an inability to perform: Penile Dysfunction. Ahhh, not to worry though, there’s a drug you can take for that… If he is having an on-line affair, the author mentioned to the woman that she should talk to him about it. “Yeah. Right-E-O,” were my initial thoughts. The author also suggested that if she can’t broach the topic without the conversation escalating into a heated battle, then she should consider couples therapy and or seek a member of the clergy to act as a mediator.

My eyes glossed over there, sorry.

What the hell kind of answer is that? Go see your clergyman? Didn’t the woman mention that her husband isn’t open to discussing the problem? If she’s having difficulty speaking with her husband, how is she supposed to bring it up to a man of cloth? “Bless me father, for I have sinned… I have been having impure thoughts about everyone because my husband doesn’t want to fuck me anymore.” And what exactly is the clergyman supposed to say to her? “Bless you my child. Say 100 Hail Mary’s a couple Acts’ of Contrition and buy yourself a dildo.”

Neve’s Answer: Okay. Calm down. You’ve been married a long time. There are simply not enough sex positions to keep your man, or any man interested (and I’ve done a lot of them) for 15 years. Come on! How many times can you do it on the washing machine? You gotta’ spice things up; take it up a notch in the boudoir’, baby! Here’s a couple of suggestions:

1.Buy a wig; be someone new for a change. Buy some handcuffs. Turn up the lights, turn down the music and fuck him like there’s no tomorrow!

2.Take him to strip club. Let him frolic around amongst the naked women. Let him see you get a lap-dance; having the time of your unbelievable life. Take him home and fuck him like there’s no tomorrow!

3.Make his favorite drink; make it a double. How about another? Get him so blasted he won’t know what hit him and then…well, fuck him like there’s no tomorrow.

If you don’t find the results you're looking for after implementing at least one of my listed items, call me, I know some hot, horny men that would love to have sex with you. ;-)