Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Bad Karma Car

I’m giving up. I call Uncle. I’m begging forgiveness to the Bad Karma Car Gods. Whatever I did to any car in the past, regardless of how awful it was, I’m sorry. After this week, I feel I’ve more than paid my penance with this car; making up for any Bad Karma Car in the past.

I have clunker. I don’t care too much about cars, because, well, I just don’t care that much about cars. I will admit I love a great looking Porsche though; especially when it’s hugging the corners; doing 150 MPH. When do I ever see that? Not so much in Ohio, I’m afraid. It’s a bit on the conservative side here for that. Most Ohioans would find that type of behavior nonsensical; illogical. It snows here for God’s sakes, Porsche’s are only allowed to come out and play during prime time seasons of the year (maybe two weeks’ max). It’s simply just too cold and too dangerous for a Porsche to live here in Ohio.

Boy, did I digress, or what? Let me see, where was I? Clunker. Karma Car. Bad. Begging forgiveness. Oh yeah. My bought and paid for car has a lot of miles on it. My theory is to run it straight into the ground before I have to go out and purchase another one. I try and take good care of it; oil changes, tune-up’s; no speeding; practical grandma-driving porn writer that I am.

So, I mentioned that it was bought and paid for, right? Yeah. Well, if you can believe this, it was; at least I thought it was until it was repossessed this past week. I’m. Not. Kidding. Someone came in the middle of the night and repo’d my car. My very non-Porsche-looking mobile with well over 100K miles on it; the same car I’ve been making car payments for hmmm…four fucking years. The car the thieves in my neighborhood pass over; yeah, that car.

It’s a very long and not too interesting of a story, but it appears that I still owe a bit of money on the car, even though I’d paid all the payments in the payment book. It was really a rather nominal amount of money that I owed and nope, no one from the bank informed me of this deficit. It appears that I was just supposed to know about this minor detail. I can sometimes read minds, like I know what a man's thoughts are as he eagerly attempts to get me into bed, but I'm a little rusty on loan balance telepathy; and I apologized profusely to the bank for this mishap.

All kidding aside, I’m working this out though. It has taken gallons of tequila and some nasty conversations with bank employees, but I should have the dog with fleas…I mean…dog with parvo. Oops! Silly me, I mean dogma car back in no time.

I’ve had other issues with this car too. This is just the latest and the greatest Bad Karma Car experience. I know what you’re thinking, why not just let the fuckers keep the car and go out and buy something new; something with a clearer karma history, eh? Well, I thought about it, but as Karma goes, if I don’t work it out with this car, any residual bad Karma will transfer over to the new one, and I’ll be right back in a Bad Karma Car debacle.

So, with all that said, is anyone looking to buy a car? Just kidding.

Come on. Tell me your best Bad Karma Car story.

p.s. The Jack Kerouac button above can be purchased here.


neoinileias said...

you have nice blog...

Neve Black said...

Thank you. Please feel free to visit and add your comments again.

Do they have Bad Karma Car in Greece?


Casey Parish said...

So yeah I have nothing but bad karma cars. Probably because I can't afford ones that come with anti-cursing. My very first car was a nice black (oh yeah black black) Nissan Pulsar, with t-tops. Well I thought all was well with it till it decided to blow up. My second car was a nice little Olds Mobile Cutlass Sierra. A tub of a car, but it was working well for the mileage. Well first some one broke into it and jacked up the ignition so that it could only be started with a screw driver, the muffler fell off, the passenger front seat door didn't open from the inside, and the interior was falling apart to the point where door handles were coming off. Finally it topped off by just dying. Now I have a Ford Ranger black (oh yeah black again) that has a missing driver side window (I broke it and can't afford to fix it), I am rolling around in DUI plates (not mine but still cause me the trouble), and it has a ridiculous squeal to it, as well as a few other odds and ends that are going bad on it. Don't you love bad karma cars? At least it stays interesting


Neve Black said...

Okay, okay, okay...you've won the bad car karma award.

Hell, if I lived in a city that offered a more desirable and convenient form of mass transport, I wouldn't own a car. How about Barcelona, Espana? Great city with glorious subways, hot men and women....


Casey Parish said...

I have never been and have never seen pics, but I am assuming if you give it a recommendation (especially for hot men and women) it would be worth checking out. I'll have to look into it more ;)