Bad Karma Car

I’m giving up. I call Uncle. I’m begging forgiveness to the Bad Karma Car Gods. Whatever I did to any car in the past, regardless of how awful it was, I’m sorry. After this week, I feel I’ve more than paid my penance with this car; making up for any Bad Karma Car in the past.

I have clunker. I don’t care too much about cars, because, well, I just don’t care that much about cars. I will admit I love a great looking Porsche though; especially when it’s hugging the corners; doing 150 MPH. When do I ever see that? Not so much in Ohio, I’m afraid. It’s a bit on the conservative side here for that. Most Ohioans would find that type of behavior nonsensical; illogical. It snows here for God’s sakes, Porsche’s are only allowed to come out and play during prime time seasons of the year (maybe two weeks’ max). It’s simply just too cold and too dangerous for a Porsche to live here in Ohio.

Boy, did I digress, or what? Let me see, where was I? Clunker. Karma Car. Bad. Begging forgiveness. Oh yeah. My bought and paid for car has a lot of miles on it. My theory is to run it straight into the ground before I have to go out and purchase another one. I try and take good care of it; oil changes, tune-up’s; no speeding; practical grandma-driving porn writer that I am.

So, I mentioned that it was bought and paid for, right? Yeah. Well, if you can believe this, it was; at least I thought it was until it was repossessed this past week. I’m. Not. Kidding. Someone came in the middle of the night and repo’d my car. My very non-Porsche-looking mobile with well over 100K miles on it; the same car I’ve been making car payments for hmmm…four fucking years. The car the thieves in my neighborhood pass over; yeah, that car.

It’s a very long and not too interesting of a story, but it appears that I still owe a bit of money on the car, even though I’d paid all the payments in the payment book. It was really a rather nominal amount of money that I owed and nope, no one from the bank informed me of this deficit. It appears that I was just supposed to know about this minor detail. I can sometimes read minds, like I know what a man's thoughts are as he eagerly attempts to get me into bed, but I'm a little rusty on loan balance telepathy; and I apologized profusely to the bank for this mishap.

All kidding aside, I’m working this out though. It has taken gallons of tequila and some nasty conversations with bank employees, but I should have the dog with fleas…I mean…dog with parvo. Oops! Silly me, I mean dogma car back in no time.

I’ve had other issues with this car too. This is just the latest and the greatest Bad Karma Car experience. I know what you’re thinking, why not just let the fuckers keep the car and go out and buy something new; something with a clearer karma history, eh? Well, I thought about it, but as Karma goes, if I don’t work it out with this car, any residual bad Karma will transfer over to the new one, and I’ll be right back in a Bad Karma Car debacle.

So, with all that said, is anyone looking to buy a car? Just kidding.

Come on. Tell me your best Bad Karma Car story.

p.s. The Jack Kerouac button above can be purchased here.