Friday, May 16, 2008

Cougars, Pumas and Jaguars

Been to the zoo lately? Me neither. I guess we don’t have to if we want to spot some female wild cats though. According to a headline news report I saw this week, there’s a new favorite pastime in Hollywood, its called “cougar” spotting. Now many of you probably didn’t know that there are some pretty steep mountains above the city of Angels; all kinds of critters live up there, like rattle snakes, coyotes, and mountain lions.

I read further into the article and much to my chagrin, the writer wasn’t talking about the kind of wild cats you find at the zoo, or in the mountainous region of the Hollywood Hills. Nope, these wild cats are living in the city; shopping along Rodeo Drive and eating some of the finest cuisine their paws can buy.

Basically, a cougar, puma or jaguar is categorized by the big cat’s age. The term is gender specific; deemed a female wild cat because of her sexual experience, bank roll and her age compared to the younger fellow she’s currently dating; fucking, or both.

Hollywood “cougars” are in their 40’s; currently prowling along the streets of Los Angeles, but have been spotted in other cities as well. Here are just a few examples:

Mariah Carey
Halle Berry
Jennifer Aniston
Courtney Cox
And the Queen of the cougar den, Demi Moore

Hollywood “pumas” are defined as women in their early 30’s attracted to younger men as well. Here are some members that fall into that Hollywood category:

Eva Longoria
Cameron Diaz

Finally, the den mother of the entire big cat family is the Hollywood “jaguar”. A "jaguar" is defined as established, 50+ women, and hot enough to snag younger prey:

Susan Sarandon
Dianne Sawyer

I’m sure these terms aren’t actually new to anyone, but I thought it might be helpful if you were given the actual definitions. I personally knew about the term “cougar”, but was not aware of pumas and jaguars. I guess I’ve always fallen into the big cat category; enjoying the companionship of a younger man long before the label was sewn inside my thong panties.


p.s. The tee-shirt above can be purchased here ; sold on Etsy.

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